I haven’t been doing everything I need to be doing and because of that I make things worse on myself which in turn causes me to become depressed. I’m trying to get better at doing things when I need to but it’s still hard. For instance, after Donnie agitated me for 3 months I finally did my taxes even though I got very frustrated with them midway. I’m happy I finally did them but I still have other things I need to do. I need to get a better paying job for one, and I haven’t done much to help myself in that department. I need to get my car fixed which is next on my list of things to do. Luckily my dad sent me the money I needed for that but I wish I could have found a way to do it that didn’t consist of me selling my soul to the devil. Sometimes I feel I can’t do anything unless someone is there holding my hand. I really don’t know what to do most of the time even when the answer is obvious.

Currently, the most important thing I need to do is clean house. When I am motivated to clean it takes me forever to get on a good path. It seems when I clean it takes me two hours running back and forth before I finally start cleaning really well… this is hard to explain but I think some of it has to do with my A.D.D. and partly because I feel helpless and don’t know what to do. Also when it comes to a lot of the cleaning… both Donnie and I need to do it together. Unfortunately every time he doesn’t feel like cleaning I don’t want to clean and vice versa when I don’t feel like it. We can’t ever find a time where we both have time together and the want to clean at the same time. I don’t know what to do. I tried cleaning alone but I get overwhelmed doing it alone. I wish I could get someone to come over and just keep me on task. I don’t expect them to clean but just to keep me on it and suggest things and be my cheering squad of sorts.

I have been able to keep the living room decent at least but that only makes me feel better for so long. I feel overpowered by cleaning so how am I supposed to tackle anything else if just the house work is keeping my ass kicked? Any suggestions or help would be appreciated. I know Donnie is in the same boat. I don’t know how to keep myself positive and motivated plus finding ways of getting Donnie motivated. I’ve tried to get him motivated and myself motivated at the same time which only causes us to bicker. I guess I am not very good at motivational speaking.

Needing money has also been stressing me out. I need to pay some things off and I want them done NOW. But they can’t be done now so it only stresses me out. I do not like asking for help but I would appreciate any help right now. I can’t stand all this stress anymore and I don’t want to blow up because of it.

I apprecaite comments and I also thank anyone who reads this for listening to my rants.

Werewolfchibichan

My ponytail is going on vacation for awhile... sad...

I’ve also noticed that people who drive fall in two catagories. Idiots who risk everyone’s and their own limbs and those who care about their surroundings. I constantly see people swerving in traffic, cutting people off, riding other car’s asses, and trying to speed and then force themselves into traffic. I have seen so many times that people will try to let someone in and that someone will instead rush ahead and try to force themselves in else where just to get a few cars ahead when we are all in traffic and we arn’t getting far anyway… I don’t know… I just can’t understand how people can be so stupid… including myself.

Well… now that I got that out of my system… let’s go on to my personal problems so that you can laugh at my misfortune.

I wanted to go to my family reunion this year but I have officially decided i can’t go. I want to also pay off my credit card I know that I don’t have that much money on my card but it stresses me out. I will feel much better paying it off and not owing anything.

I have also been thinking about a dog. I am taking everything into account but I know EVERYONE is gonna tell me it’s a bad idea and not good if I don’t have any money but I know I can take care of a dog once I have paid off my credit card bill. I so want a dog. I am so used to having a dog around but that’s not the main reason. Anyway… I guess I will have to deal with people getting on to me about getting a pet and not having money.

I would appreciate opinions but not at the expense of my feelings.

Werewolfchibichan

My Jewelry

I have made countless bracelets and earrings from beads, semi precious stones, and other things. I have also made a few key chains. My specialty is making earrings. If anyone is interested in seeing what I have made and possibly purchase some of my work, please leave a comment and we can talk jewelry.

As a warning, I have made most of my jewelry out of silver. If you are allergic to silver (like myself) and you like my designs I would be more than happy to get another type of metal for you.

I can also make no sew blankets. They have fringes and are nice little gifts and are quite warm.

As always, i appreciate your comments and ideas.

Lets see what it takes to get me to my family reunion!!

Werewolfchibichan

I know it has been awhile but I figured I barely have any readers anyway. Things have been a bit hectic as of late. On Christmas Eve I went to Sherman to go pick up Donnie’s mum for Christmas. I ended up in an accident because the roads became nothing but ice. I hit the cement guard thing and my car ricocheted across the interstate, I avoided two cars and my car spinned so I was pointed towards incoming traffic and I hit an SUV. The good news… the other driver’s car won… the bad news… my car took second place. My friend Nina was with me during the whole ordeal and we both went to check on the other driver only to find out that I had missed all the other cars only to hit a priest’s car. Nina promptly told me I was going to hell… well… I probably am anyway. My car got pretty banged up but not enough to where I can’t drive it. I just need to be careful. It’s gonna cost me 500 dollars to get it fixed… I’m not sure if I will be able to save up enough for that and for the other things I wish to do this year… My family wants me to go to the family reunion this year. But I would have to take off from work and I hardly just make enough to pay for my bills. I don’t know if I can save enough to pay for the expenses and the bills and my car.

It also seems that I need to tell my family by the end of this month (January) if I am going or not. The whole thing is in June but I won’t know if I can go until it’s closer to June… I feel like I’m stuck…

At times, I want to ask for help with this whole situation but I am not so sure about asking for money just to go see family or to get my car fixed when I should have stayed home in the first place. I just don’t feel comfortable begging for money. I guess that this is the trials and tribulations of living on your own for the first time. You never have money, you never have time for family, and you never seem to lack for insanity.

Since this post seems to be getting a little too serious… here is a little tidbit of goodness brought to you by my fear of fast running black things.

The other day, I went to go pick my pants up so I could start getting ready for work. A huge cockroach came flying from underneath it. I think that is the highest I’ve ever jumped. I called Donnie in to get it but it had already hidden itself and we couldn’t find it. Well.. last night I had to tinkle really bad. (yeah yeah… i said tinkle… get over it) As I was approaching the toilet… guess who decided to make a guest appearance? Mr. Cockroach! Well… I called Donnie in and he took care of it as I sat on the bed… off the floor just in case… and that was that. Well… i finally thought all my problems were over this morning. Until I flooded the toilet and had to clean that up too… Needless to say it was a rough night and morning. I took care of my friend Brandee’s cat’s this morning. It wasn’t too hard but I seem to lack for some sleep and I was in zombie mode. The cats probably thought I was losing it too.

Well… that’s that for now. I know I still owe a ‘people who piss me off’ episode. I will have it eventually… I need to compile the list from Christmas and from bad drivers… But until then… I’m off to do my slave labor for my job.

Werewolfchibichan

It was kind of expensive altogether but I think it is worth it. It was 45 for the exam and 132 for the glasses. (I was lucky to have a discount for the glasses otherwise it would have been 168). I’m still not sure how I feel about the glasses. It looks odd to me but I guess I’ll get used to them. I will make sure to send pictures when I get my new specks. I hope my vision stays at this though… if my eyes get anything worse I think I’ll vomit.

In other news… being a cashier sucks…

I’m sorry to report that this is all for now. Next time I’ll bring you a “people who piss me off” episode…

Werewolfchibichan

In other news, I finally got my car inspected. The next step I’m not looking forward to because it will most likely be the most expensive. I need to get the car registered and I have to find a day that both Donnie and I are off because I don’t know where this place is and it is down town. I’d prefer not to go downtown alone especially when I haven’t driven there before.

I’m still struggling with money. Perhaps I put too high of a price on money? I still haven’t put a cent into my savings account. I have always decided how well I’m doing on how much I have in my savings account. I think even if it makes me short for a few weeks I should put at least $100 dollars in there for emergencies (like over drawing from checking).

As my birthday draws closer I wonder if I should just ask everyone for money when they ask me what I want for my birthday. I really don’t expect anything but I do know that some of my family will want to send something. I feel bad about this because I don’t have enough money for the upcoming birthdays and Christmas is also coming. I don’t know what I will send for Christmas if I don’t have money to even buy myself things every two weeks. I was debating on just sending treats and maybe candles with a family Christmas card. That would be generally inexpensive but I don’t know what kind of treats each family member likes or even if they would want candles. I would also want to get something special for each person… not send the same thing. I suppose everything will work out just fine. I’ve been told that if I can’t send gifts my family should understand and shouldn’t get angry. This still makes me feel bad.

Well… I will let you go for now… I need to look for Christmas gifts and start getting them before it gets too far down the road to get anything.

Werewolfchibichan

To sum it all up… I feel like a waste of space right now. I don’t feel good about myself and my progress… well… there really hasn’t been any progress….

I recently came to the conclusion that I need counseling but I don’t have the money to really go often. I found some information on a low income place that I am going to try but to be honest… I’m a little apprehensive about going. When I was younger, I went to many places trying to do a quick fix on me but to no avail. Back then, I used to pull my hair out and I was almost bald. No one could figure out why I did it, I told them it was because of nervousness and stress and that is true… but sometimes I did it because I just HAD to… it was almost like chewing my nails… I felt pressure until I did it. Now that I’m older I realize that I am an obsessive/addictive personality so no wonder I couldn’t stop back then. I still struggle with it but that’s not why I need a counselor now. I’ve been having a hard time letting things go from the past and I have negative feelings about myself. Worst of all… I’ve been constantly emotional and easily get defensive and angry. Because of this defensiveness I have taken my anger out on Donnie for no reason at all.  He tries to help me and because his opinion differs “I try to defend myself since it’s obviously an attack on ME”.

I have tried many times not to fight with Donnie but I only manage to fight worse and if I manage to keep my mouth shut long enough just so he can speak it feels like a spring inside being pushed down and ready to spring harder and harder. I always cut in on  him when he’s trying to explain things because I have to make sure he knows my side when I hear something I don’t agree with.

I’ve given up on myself at this point. I will be giving the counseling thing a try. I just hope I don’t have to go on medicine.

Have you ever been to counseling? I’d love to hear how it went for you. I’m hoping that I can fix my past to push myself towards the future. Wish me luck.

Werewolfchibichan

It’s that time again. That wonderful time where I angst about people who need to really be put to sleep. (perhaps this is a harsh statement?)

Today’s rejects are brought to you from Walmart since everyone and their mother goes there.

I checked this man out who was using food stamps. For whatever reason 84 cents was left over. I explained to him that there was 84 cents left but he just kept staring at me. He wouldn’t say anything. So finally after saying something for the third time he finally speaks and says for me to take an apple off. Then he says just one and when I apparently didn’t understand this he says I only want one. So once I fully understand what is going on I ask him which apple he wants because he has four different types of apples. He says he doesn’t care so I begin the voiding process for produce which is a tad longer than normal voiding. With voiding other items you can just press the void button and scan the bar code. But produce is weighed and each situation bears a different weight. What you do is press the void key and then type in the produces number, the computer then asks “what amount?” you then have to look at the receipt slip and see how much that item rang up for, type that amount in and press enter.  It’s a bit confusing at first but once you have it down you can learn to do it pretty quickly. Apparently I wasn’t going fast enough and mid way into the voiding process he just says I’ll go to another register. I tell him he needs to wait a few minutes for me to get a manager to void the whole transaction because he has already slid his card and it won’t work if he uses it before my transaction is canceled but he just ignored me. He grabs his things (minus the apples) and goes to the cashier next to me. One of the managers comes over to cancel the transaction and I notice he forgot his apples. I grab them and take them to him and he yells at me “I SAID I ONLY WANTED ONE!!!” At this point, I walked away and turned my back to him to distance myself. My manager said to just ignore him but it had me sick for a few  hours.

This next lady was more interesting than rude. She came up with a mountain of stuff in a cart. The amount was so huge she had to get a second cart just to get things efficiently through the line and proceeds to organize everything and asks me not to start scanning until she has everything ready. Once she had everything ready she asks me to keep cold with cold, cans with cans… well.. you get the drill… then says to stuff each bag  as full as possible so she doesn’t have too many bags, but then she proceeds to tell me that she also wants everything double bagged. (makes a lot of sense huh? I want as little bags as possible BUT I want them all double bagged). After I gave her this blank stare (since all this info had yet to reach the offices in my brain) she went ahead and offered to bag everything herself. (THANK GOD!!!) It was very long and grueling.

On the same day as the mountain cart lady I came across a very interesting situation. She was very nice and I had finished checking her out and she gave me a large book’s worth of coupons. She had also gotten seven air wick fresheners and had six coupons for them. What was odd is that each of the coupons was the amount of each air wick. So in theory she was only paying for one. My computer popped up a message saying that at the end of the transaction I would need a manager to accept the transaction because of the large amount of coupons. Here is where things get really fucked up. She had gotten a bunch of lunchables and had a coupon for them… buy at least seven and you get 1.50 off. Well the computer wouldn’t accept the coupon and upon closer inspection it showed that it was an albertson’s coupon. She began arguing with me that she knew our policies and that it was a manufacturer’s coupon and that we take manufacturer’s coupons. I explained that I couldn’t do anything about it because it had to do with the computers and that I would get my manager to fix the issue. The manager came up and told her we couldn’t take it, she threw a fit saying we could and starts whining and crying “My kids need these” etc. Then she calls customer service while still in the line which is holding up the rest of the line (it was very busy that day). She argues with the customer service people and my manager suspends the transaction so I can continue with the line and also so we wouldn’t have to start over with her transaction when she was done. I sent her to another cashier who didn’t have any customers so she wouldn’t have to wait in line. This is where it gets hairy. The other cashier has to get another manager because the computer gave another “need manager” message. I was pulled off the lines to go to the manager’s office afterward and it was explained to me that the lady couldn’t purchase all those air wicks like she was trying to do. The reason is because people will take them somewhere else and then collect the money by returning them. She would have gotten 35 dollars from this. I wasn’t in trouble (I thought I was and I was trembling in my little space boots) and they congratulated me on staying calm.

This next story will make you loose your socks. I checked the lady out, bagged her things, pulled out the changed and handed it to her, and closed my register. Upon finishing the transaction the lady freaks out and starts saying things like why the hell did you give me this nickel (like I’d given it to her on purpose) and saying that no one else will accept this nickel and starts flipping off the deep end. Thus, I gave her a nickel she didn’t like. It had some black and white stuff on the face and you couldn’t see the face at all. However, you could still tell it was a nickel. At first she calmed down and said she would wait for the next customer so I can just give her a different nickel. I had no problem with this but the next customer used debit. Then she freaks out even worse and screams at me to get my manager. My manager gave her another nickel and she stormed off. For god sakes… its a fucking nickel. All our money is given to us by a bank. If the bank accepts it… everyone accepts it. Jeez….

Finally, today’s story… Now usually when someone gives me money and I open the register and then they try to give me change to get X amount of money or to trade types I won’t do it. The reason is so I don’t give them the wrong amount and/or give my draw the wrong amount. It’s the safest way not to get yourself into a bad situation. I’ve only done it a few times and it makes me uncomfortable. If it makes us uncomfortable we don’t have to do it. So this girl gives me the money, I open the register, and she proceeds to try and give me change and I explain that I have already opened the register and I am not suppose to do that. I give her the change and close the register and she starts telling me how rude I am and what a bitch I’m being and that she has worked for Walmart before and knows for a fact that we can give change back. She also proceeds to say that she’s going to turn in a complaint on me. Her companion gives me her things and tries to tell her to stop and I politely turned to her and said “It’s ok maam… she can say whatever she wants about me.” I smiled, finished the transaction and told both of them that I hope they have a wonderful evening.

So there you have it…. three weeks worth of crazy for your enjoyment. I’d like to hear some of your stories or even just your comments on the ones I have here. I appreciate those who read my blog on a constant basis so if you like the “People who piss me off” posts… please let me know.

Werewolfchibichan

I am actually going to gift three or four of them to friends since I did in fact still got too many. I even have a few that I have to identify and learn how to care for so I will be busy for a week or so figuring out placement and watering habits of my new additions. Now I’m sure any of you who are reading my post are starting to wonder about the title of my post and what it has to do with collecting plants. Well… I’ll tell you. As we were loading up the plants into my car I was bringing Donnie two plants to load up when my foot landed wrong on the uneven part of the cement driveway and I fell down. The plants went flying and I had to quickly throw my hands in front of me to save my face. I ended up with a bloody hand, dirt all over me, my knees hurting and one of them completely scraped of any skin and beginning to swell, and any of my pride going out the window.

Donnie was very worried about me and I tried to shrug it off but it hurt like a mother F***er. We finished loading up the plants and went to the mall since the day was cool and the plants could be left in the car for a few hours and we walked around for almost two hours and finally we were back in the car heading home. I was quite thankful for this because my knee was starting to hurt a lot. Donnie promised I’d be sore the next day and I sure was. I only had to work four hours but it felt longer than that. Every time I touched something with my bad hand my hand would hurt and then be sore for a bit.

Today, I still feel sore all over. I never realized how sore you get from just a fall. I’d like to hear your stories and what you had to go through while you were healing.

Today I have to go to work again but this time for a full day shift and I’m not looking forward to it. I know I am suppose to be fast and get customers through my line as fast as possible. But today I think I’ll take it easy so I don’t make myself worse. In the meantime… Is anyone interested in a Sago Palm?

Werewolfchibichan

Generally, I don’t have much to do with children and children tend to bother me for some reason. But sometimes I see moments where I feel sorry for a child or children.

I remember quite a few times when I’ve seen a child crying for whatever reason. Whether it be their fault or not they are crying and need to run their course. The mother and/or father would yell and scream at the kid to stop crying right then and there and continue to yell which only would make the child cry more which just angers the parent more. Why can’t they understand that a kid cannot stop crying on command?

Another problem is that all the children who are bad mannered or don’t listen are because their parents never taught them which only gets everyone else’s panties in a twist and the parent is oblivious to all of what their child is doing, doesn’t care, or just doesn’t do anything to fix it.

What is this world coming to? Why can’t people control their children the proper way? Also, why can’t some parents understand their children instead of trying to control their children in everything in their lives even when they understand the kid can’t do things on a dime?

The world is going downhill in my opinion. I wish things really would get better. So much for that wish though.

Werewolfchibichan