Nail biting and so forth…

I have always been a nail bitter for as long as I can remember. Recently, I have been trying to stop and its very hard. I have looked up information on how to help stop nail biting and most of the ideas don’t work much for me. Some of them are: using a rubber band as negative reinforcement each time I bite, use a nasty tasting nail polish, use peppers, putting on gloves. None of these seem to work though… I have tried them before. I can’t will myself to use the rubber band because I hate the feel I get but I suppose that was the point when it is used as negative reinforcement. My family used the nasty nail polish and peppers to no avail. I tried putting on gloves but I chewed the gloves up in the process, rendering them useless. Another idea was to go get acrylic nails. I have had acrylic nails before (for prom and all that hub bub) but I found out that I can chew through the acrylic… Yeah yeah I know… It’s bad for my teeth. Currently I’m working off sheer will power but it’s the hardest thing in the world to do. I can now start seeing nails grow but it only makes the temptation harder. Last night, after managing not to chew for two weeks, I chewed off my right thumb nail. I feel horrible because not only did I fail and start chewing again but now the urge is worse than before. At least I didn’t chew until I bled… but I think I got very close. I wonder if there are other ideas I can attempt but I have found very few as you can see. I’m also afraid that I have permanently damaged part of my nail bed but I can’t find information on this either. I guess it’s not like I’m gonna die if my nail bed is partially damaged since my nails seem to be growing fine… but I still worry.

In other news, I finally got my car inspected. The next step I’m not looking forward to because it will most likely be the most expensive. I need to get the car registered and I have to find a day that both Donnie and I are off because I don’t know where this place is and it is down town. I’d prefer not to go downtown alone especially when I haven’t driven there before.

I’m still struggling with money. Perhaps I put too high of a price on money? I still haven’t put a cent into my savings account. I have always decided how well I’m doing on how much I have in my savings account. I think even if it makes me short for a few weeks I should put at least $100 dollars in there for emergencies (like over drawing from checking).

As my birthday draws closer I wonder if I should just ask everyone for money when they ask me what I want for my birthday. I really don’t expect anything but I do know that some of my family will want to send something. I feel bad about this because I don’t have enough money for the upcoming birthdays and Christmas is also coming. I don’t know what I will send for Christmas if I don’t have money to even buy myself things every two weeks. I was debating on just sending treats and maybe candles with a family Christmas card. That would be generally inexpensive but I don’t know what kind of treats each family member likes or even if they would want candles. I would also want to get something special for each person… not send the same thing. I suppose everything will work out just fine. I’ve been told that if I can’t send gifts my family should understand and shouldn’t get angry. This still makes me feel bad.

Well… I will let you go for now… I need to look for Christmas gifts and start getting them before it gets too far down the road to get anything.

Werewolfchibichan